Jerry: It’s only nine ‘o clock.Kramer: Well, I don’t argue with the body, Jerry. It’s an argument you can’t win.

Posted on January 31, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 6 Comments

This might be a new world record for pathetic. Roth and I went to bed at 8 p.m. last night. “Went to bed” is definitely not a euphemism for something else. Around 7:45, we both looked at each other, expressed that we were a.) tired and b.) cold. Now that we have this amazing electric [...]

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You look so good with blonde hair and black roots, it’s not even funny

Posted on January 30, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 13 Comments

I feel as though I’ve been phoning it in lately. Sure, my last few posts may be entertaining to some degree, but they certainly aren’t all that telling or insightful into my life right now. Not that there’s so much going on behind the scenes, oh no. It’s just easy to hide the banality of [...]

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Do cyborgs dream of electric beagles?

Posted on January 28, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 5 Comments

By now, everyone knows that Roth does and says these totally adorable things that make him utterly swoon-worthy, yes? Well, this latest thing takes the cake on the adorability scale. On Friday, Roth got a new game for the Xbox360 with a gift card from his birthday. I have no idea what the game is [...]

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Red shoe diary

Posted on January 27, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 12 Comments

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my mom, it’s never buy shoes that aren’t on sale. I got these puppies at TJ Maxx the other day for just $20. Normally, I wouldn’t buy shoes in a shade of red so, I don’t know, whorish? But for some reason, I was drawn to them. I [...]

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There are two kinds of people I can’t stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.

Posted on January 27, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 9 Comments

The other day, my friend Jasmine mentioned to me that she and some friends had shared a Dutch Baby for breakfast at the Original Pancake House. I had never heard of a Dutch Baby before, so naturally, because of its moniker, I was curious. I mean, I’m (half) Dutch, and some day, I will have [...]

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Totally abusing his new membership in the ’30 is the new 20′ club*

Posted on January 25, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 6 Comments

The other night, after our house guests had gone home … Me, tired: So, on a scale of one to 10, how badly do you want to have sex tonight?Him: Let me ask you this: have you ever had sex with a 30-year-old? Huh? Hmm? Oh!Me: Wow, you got me there.Him: YES! *pumps fist in [...]

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Calendar girl

Posted on January 23, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

January is quickly coming to a close, and in an attempt to move a few more calendars (and put a few more dollars in my pocket*), I’m putting them on clearance – just $16! If you wanted one back in December, but didn’t want to fork over the cash, now’s your chance! If you did [...]

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Recovery time

Posted on January 23, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Four-day weekends are glorious, but damn it, did I ever feel like a newborn baby today. It’s like I forgot how to do basic things, like drive a car and type my computer password, what with those extra days off where I didn’t have to do anything but eat, relax and celebrate Roth’s birthday. To [...]

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Feast of love

Posted on January 20, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 15 Comments

In advance of Roth’s birthday dinner, which took place last night, I wrote a rhyming limerick (stanza? set of couplets?) for the evite. This poetic endeavor took about three hours one night, thusly utilizing all of my brain power, because I certainly am not a poet, and I do even know it. But I’m a [...]

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Oh, it’s on

Posted on January 19, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Twenty-six hours to go until Roth’s birthday dinner, and things are already happening in the kitchen. We’ve got a trio of stocks on the stove … … along with a trio of mirepoix (complete with Roth’s adorable cheat sheets) at the ready. So much to do tomorrow, but everything is all under control at the [...]

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