Some semblance of normalcy

Today was the first day I went out without the baby. My mom and I took advantage of Roth’s offer to watch the freshly changed and fed baby so we could go shopping. We were only gone for about an hour and a half, but it felt a little odd to be out and about without the baby. It was an even weirder sensation when my mom and I parted ways to look at different sections of a department store, because suddenly I felt alone.

But not in a bad way. It just felt surreal, is all, seeing as I’ve spent every waking moment over the last 11 days – and not to mention the last nine months! – caring for the baby. To suddenly be free, even for just a few minutes, to do something so normal as browse sale racks, was slightly unsettling. By the time we were done, I was anxious to head home and hold my baby.

Does this mean I’m acclimating to my new role as mom? I’d like to think so. It’s hard to imagine life before Rowan. I mean, for all intents and purposes, I should still be pregnant with him right now, and yet, he is here. Sometimes when he’s nursing, I watch him concentrate on the task at hand, earnestly trying not to let his eyes close, and I think to myself, is this real? How is it that this beautiful little being is ours?

Rowan reflection

What’s even more amazing is watching Roth interact with Rowan. I always knew that Roth would be a good dad, but he really takes it to a whole new level. He’s right there beside me in the middle of the night, helping me change the baby, burping him after a feeding, and he definitely has the magic touch when it comes to calming the baby. When things get frustrating – and trust me, there have been some not-so-good days and nights, too – he helps me stay afloat the quagmire that is postpartum depression. And nothing breaks the sleep-deprived tension like sharing a good laugh after an explosive baby fart.

Naptime with papa

So yeah, we’re doing pretty well, slowly but surely adjusting to life with a baby as best we can. The minutes and hours of the days go by ridiculously fast, and I’m definitely having a hard time keeping up with the goings-on outside of our little microcosm. But my mom has been here the whole time, washing every single dirty dish and cuddling with the baby every chance she gets, so that’s been a big help. Roth and I are starting to figure out this whole parenthood thing, and soon I hope that our lives will return to some redefined semblance of normalcy.

In the meantime, I’m just trying to soak in every moment, because seriously, being a mom is awesome.

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11 Comments

  1. Those first few trips without baby are bizarre. I still find myself panicking at least once or twice while I am out thinking I’ve gone and forgotten her someplace. Take advantage of any alone time you can get, I sometimes don’t want to be without the baby, but in the end it is so good for your sanity.
    Unfortunately time doesn’t slow down, it continues to move faster and faster, so slow down and soak it in whenever you can.

  2. haha! Now you might understand the humor Huz and I shared over a Valentine’s Day dinner together laughing hysterically as Claire farted in her bouncy seat right next to us. Hilarious.
    Enjoy it all! :)

  3. So this post could also be called I love my husband reason # ___? :)
    And again, please let me state that you can call me anytime of the day or night for anything, even if it’s just venting about a stupid movie. I’m here. Our new home # is in the email I sent out a couple days ago wishing everyong a Happy New Year. Just sayin’. :)

  4. I can already tell it’s going to be beyond amazing to watch and read and listen as you navigate motherhood, and as you and Roth navigate being “Rowan’s parents.” I can imagine that it would be so surreal, and yet the most real thing you’ve ever felt or done together.
    Happy! (almost) 2009, babe. Here’s to the upcoming year, and all the milestones it has to offer.

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