I’m tired of whys, choking on whysJust need a little because, because

When I was a kid and would think about the vastness of space, usually in bed while trying to fall asleep, I would get so frustrated that I couldn’t understand it, that I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of infinity. That on this seemingly massive planet of ours, we are just specks. But even more mind blowing is the thought that there are millions of galaxies of far larger planets, possibly very similar to ours, maybe even teeming with life, beyond the ones we know, which just means we’re even smaller than we think.

Whenever I’d stumble into this infinite loop of thinking, I’d make myself stop. As if my mind were a reel-to-reel machine, I’d sever the tape. It seemed an exercise in futility to try to understand it, which is why I never did well in subjects like math or science. One of two failing grades I ever got in college was in an astronomy course. I blamed the bumbling professor’s ineptitude for the D that landed me on academic probation, but really, it was my own fault. My mind was closed to the concepts of lightspeed and time from the get-go.

Roth, on the other hand, likes space, so much that he daily checks the space and astronomy channel within the science channel when perusing news online. He often tells me about the latest discoveries in the advancement of space technology with this giddy gleam in his eye. Once while having dinner with our friends Kirsten and Steve, the guys started talking about space and geeking out about the likelihood of life on other planets, and it was the most adorably nerdy thing Kirsten, who studied journalism with me in college, and I had ever seen.

The other night we were sitting in the backyard just before dark, and we could see just one star in the sky. Roth marveled at the fact that it took X amount of years for the light from that particular star to each our eyes, and I’m pretty sure my head exploded right then and there.

“But isn’t it frustrating to think about things that have no beginning and no end, like space?” I asked.

“Not for me, no. I love it.”

He mentioned how he saw this great house on Lake Washington the other day, and on the balcony there was a telescope pointed toward the sky. He said that someday he’d like to have one so that he can show Rowan the stars and planets. While I may never be able to explain to my son why a star shines more brightly than another, I absolutely cannot wait for Roth to have that opportunity with Rowan.

Roth frequently comments how he’s very much looking forward to that time in his child’s life when everything will be followed by a “why?” and when a “because” will not suffice. Thank goodness one of us will be able to explain space and infinity to a little mind.

***
Very much like space, the ocean is another wonder that mystifies me in a similar way. I’d say I’m borderline terrified of the ocean, actually, as it’s like this whole other world down there, and frankly, I’m scared of mammals the size of buses. I think it’s just hard for me to fathom ever being face to face with marine life that could eat me, if it so chose. I really have no desire to ever swim alongside a whale, just in case you’re planning on inviting me to do so.

But I love aquariums, I think because the vastness of the ocean is contained in a way I can understand. I remember with fondness going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with my parents as a kid. I haven’t been in years, but I loved their living kelp forest exhibit, probably because sea otters were my favorite. (Oh hey, look! Of course there’s a Web cam for the kelp exhibit.) It’s just such a beautiful display of blues and greens, and I remember marveling at its dimensions back then.

Yesterday I was directed to the following video via Twitter, and I was mesmerized, then thrilled at the thought of showing Rowan something this amazing when he’s old enough to understand its immensity. If you are able, you should click through and watch it on full-screen mode, with the sound turned up. It is truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in a long time.

Kuroshio Sea – 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world – (song is Please don’t go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

I fully intend to bookmark this video at home so that I can watch it any time I need an instant infusion of calm.

Posted on July 23, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 7 Comments