Look, so I know that technically Festivus (yes, the made-up holiday from Seinfeld that people really do celebrate) isn’t until the 23rd, but we’ll be embarking on a 15-hour drive (OMG) to California that day, and I’m having a sort of shitty week wherein the only thing that might make me feel better is if I air some of my grievances in this here space, right now. Hopefully getting these things off my chest now will ensure we have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*ckin’ Kaye.
1. Roth’s car started making a “high-pitched whirring” accompanied by a “chemical smell” yesterday which has resulted in repairs (new alternator! and other mechanical jargon I don’t understand!) to the tune of extra money we just don’t have right now. Subsequently, I’ve had to cancel some fun plans this week because I can’t justify spending more money we don’t really have.
(I am not, however, canceling Rowan’s birthday party on Sunday. We’re keeping it pretty low budget anyway with homemade cupcakes and printed-from-the-internet decorations.)
2. My car needs new tires like whoa. We can’t really wait until after the holidays, either, because of the aforementioned trip to California. I wonder if Les Schwab has a blood donation payment program.
3. Apropos of numbers 1 and 2, my left eye started twitching yesterday.
4. I am currently sporting a very large, very painful bulls-eye zit on my face. It’s at that stage where it just needs to freaking POP already so it can start the month-long scabby healing process. What’s unfair about this particular zit is that it cropped up atop the scar of another zit that plagued my face the entire month of October. I’m wearing my glasses today in attempt to hide it, but I think this tactic is actually calling more attention to it than not. (You can actually see the beginnings of its ass-face in the pictures of my last post.)
5. I’ve been going to Zumba a couple times a week, and I’m finding myself getting particularly annoyed with this contingency of middle-aged women who fawn over a particular male (and married, by the way) instructor. I mean, yes, he has a nice butt and can shake it-shake it, but back the eff off, ladies. Let us (slightly) younger ladies have a chance at getting called up on stage to dance a routine with him, too. Not that I’m jealous or anything. Ahem.
6. Itchy dry skin. That is all.
7. I finally (FINALLY) finished Mockingjay, the final book of The Hunger Games trilogy, last week, and while I know most people were enraged with the ending, I was pretty OK with it. What I hated, though, was how the last 100 or so pages seemed to multiply. It took me so long to get through that book, probably because I was just BORED. It was like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is forced to watch The English Patient and she’s all, “JUST DIE ALREADY. DIEEEEE!” (Don’t worry. That wasn’t a spoiler.) (Or was it??)
Aaaand, breathe. I feel better already. Next up: FEATS OF STRENGTH!