One year, it took me three hours to get home from work. That was nothing compared to the year it took Roth a staggering EIGHT hours to get home from work. Poor guy had to pee in his coffee cup, he’d been sitting in icy traffic so long. (That same year, our pipes froze.) One of our greatest fears is the power going out again, as it did in 2006. It was out for 24 hours that time (which was nothing in comparison to some neighboring cities that experienced the outage for five or more days). Our house got so cold without the use of the heater; I can’t imagine how we’d handle that same situation now that we have a kid. Snuggle-slumber party in our bed, I guess!

The snowstorm I remember the most, though, is the one that happened the night after Rowan was born. We woke up the next morning to an eerily silent city, completely blanketed in blinding white. My mom’s flight from California was one of the last before the airport closed, and our wing of the hospital was noticeably quiet and understaffed, as many nurses and doctors couldn’t make it in to work. (Some just had to sleep there until their next shift.)

When we were released from the hospital a day later, the sun was shining, but the driving conditions were still awful. Two buses slid down an icy hill, colliding into each other, and the wreck crashed through a guardrail, dangling the buses right over the freeway. That drive home with a two-day-old baby in the backseat was terrifying. Of course, we made it, but there was still so much snow (coming down and on the ground) for the next week that people couldn’t come visit us. Outside of taking Rowan to the pediatrician, we were housebound. Looking back, I’m fairly certain those conditions contributed greatly to what would eventually turn into post-partum depression.

So yeah, I think my feelings of trepidation toward snow are justified. So long as I don’t have to drive in it, the power stays on, and we have plenty of coffee, I’m cool to watch it from safety of my warm living room.

***

Thankfully, my work has a flexible inclement weather policy, which means if the office isn’t closed due to snow, I can work from home, rather than risk life and limb trying to get there. Yesterday was an official “snow day.” Both Roth’s and my office were closed, so we spent the day (mostly) inside, eating a breakfast of bacon and eggs, listening to bad dance music on the LMAFO channel, doing our taxes (hello, refund!), cleaning out the fridge, and baking a cake.

We came home from our holiday trip with a giant bag of Meyer lemons from my dad’s tree, probably 15-20 pounds’ worth. We’ve been trying to use them up over the last couple of weeks, but upon further inspection, it looks as though we’ve hardly made a dent in the bag. Luckily, we love lemon, and a snow day at home was a perfect excuse to bake a lemon curd layer cake, starting with the lemon curd, followed by the cakes, and topped off with lemony frosting.

It’s not the prettiest cake, but it’s one of the more indulgent desserts I’ve ever made. The lemon curd alone has a stick and a half of butter in it. But, calories consumed on a snow day totally don’t count, right? Right.

Yesterday was a lot of fun, just being home with my guys, and I’m quite impressed at how much we managed to accomplish in between all the eating of snacks and lounging on the couch. I mean, our taxes are done and filed! BOOM.

I fully expected to be back at work today, but the conditions have worsened since yesterday’s storm, as there is now new snow on top of a thick layer of ice on top of the old snow. And the snow hasn’t stopped since 8 a.m. This is when I start to get a little worried – and snow weary.

Perhaps it’s time to mix some vodka with all those lemons.

Highlights include:
–Zumba
–Finally going for a pro bra fitting, investing in some decent underthings
–Going meatless in May
–San Diego Comic-Con

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last January, I reviewed by decade “to-do” list and realized I’d actually crossed off quite a few items. I then decided to bring into sharper focus a few select items from the decade list, and also created a more specific list for 2011. In review, I didn’t knock the list out of the park, but I didn’t completely fail, either.

In 2011, I managed to:
Take a dance class
–Nia & Zumba count, I think.

Grow my hair out
–Still a work on progress, but it’s getting longer and I like it!

Get back into hiking
–Um, I went on ONE hike with Kerri, but that ONE hike (to Snow Lake) reinvigorated in me a desire to do more hiking in 2012. Kerri, you’re totally tasked with helping me accomplish this!

Take a family vacation to Mexico
–We kinda-sorta accomplished this with a cruise to Ensenada, but Rowan didn’t even get off the boat in Mexico!

Rollerskate!

Find and try a spin cycling class
–Heck yes, I joined a local studio where for a reasonable monthly fee, I can take unlimited group fitness classes like Zumba, spin, yoga, barre, etc. I was nervous about my first spin class after several years off the bike, but it was … just like riding a bike! Heh. I wish I’d taken more classes, but I’m planning to remedy this in 2012.

Sign Rowan up for swimming lessons
–We did this! Rowan didn’t really learn anything, but it was fun to get in the water with him and sing silly songs. I think this year we’ll look into a class that actually teaches him some basic skills.

Get a promotion at work
–Not the promotion I hoped for, but I got a promotion, nonetheless.

Organize our garage
–We got rid of some stuff, but our garage is still packed to the gills, mostly with baby stuff we no longer need now that Rowan is *sniff* not a baby anymore. We still have some work to do in there with regard to organization.

See a band or musical act we’ve never seen live before
–In April, we saw Paul Simon in concert. At 70, the guy’s still got it. It was fun, especially for Roth who grew up listening to Graceland on repeat.

***

There are quite a few items on my two lists left untouched, but I will make a new list for 2012 and revisit whether or not those items should carry over into the new year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Laurie had a second baby girl named Josie. My friend Andrea had a third baby, a boy named Henry. And two colleagues had first babies – a girl named River, and a boy named Arlo. Lots of cooing little babies in our social circle!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico! We stopped in Ensenada on my in-laws’ anniversary cruise in June. I’m really glad we decided not to stay in the touristy part of town and took the (kinda sketchy) 45-minute bus ride out to La Bufadora, which seemed a little more authentic than just hanging out at Senor Frogs, or wherever. Also fun to hang out with my bro-in-law and his girlfriend, sans kid-in-tow.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More professional confidence. More date nights with Roth.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 13, my birthday. I took the day off from work (a Thursday) and had a complete and utter “me” day that begun with a visit to a Korean spa, followed by lunch out with Roth, and a midday movie (Drive) before picking Rowan up from daycare. It was perfect, just what I wanted for my 32nd birthday.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think I really came into my own with regard to my career. Last year, I resolved to get a promotion at work, and I did, sort of. While I didn’t get the exact title I proposed during my annual review, I did the work required to earn the respect of my peers and in turn gained the experience that my resume had been lacking.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Any of the numerous times I lost my temper or patience with Rowan.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Outside of two nasty back-to-back sinus infections at the beginning of the year, I’ve remained healthy all year. Roth and Rowan remained relatively unscathed, too.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably silly, but my iPhone. I don’t know how I lived without one for so long. Roth finally got a smart phone, too, so we’re both connected, which makes life so much easier. A monthly membership to Community Fitness. Zumba classes kept me sane. This toilet seat. (Seriously.)

12. Where did most of your money go?
In this order: mortgage, daycare, car payment, personal loan payments. Starting in January, we’ll be making huge strides to change our debt-to-income ratio, to make life a whole lot easier, financially speaking.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Our June cruise. Our Oregon coast beach house getaway with my mom and step dad in August. East and west coast book launch parties for work.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
“Nevermind I’ll stab someone like yoooooooou.” Anything by Adele, which was overplayed on every single radio station on my car’s dial. I think Adele needs to take a year-long vacation starting in January. This year, I enjoyed the heck out of sub-par dance-type music, more of last year’s fave Mumford & Sons, Death Cab’s new album Codes & Keys, Seattle darlings The Head and the Heart, and “Shake It Out” by Florence + the Machine.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
–happier or sadder? Happier, for sure.
–thinner or fatter? Maybe a wee bit thinner, but definitely more physically fit.
–richer or poorer? Same level of poor.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
As always, more writing – here, there, everywhere. I wish I’d documented more of Rowan’s life, in writing and in photos. Yoga. Cooking and baking. Reading.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Bickered. Yelled. Stewed.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
It was the in-laws’ year to have us for the holiday, so we drove 15 hours in one shot from Seattle to Sonora, and spent a lovely five days there, eating, laughing and lounging entirely too much. My dad and step mom came up to their house on Christmas Day for dinner, which was great, since I usually don’t get to see them on the actual holiday. Afterward, we visited my dad for a couple days before starting the trek back to Seattle, with stops in Redding to see Roth’s grandma and in Portland, where we stayed with Nanette and family.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights (I can’t believe it’s over), Parks & Rec (the United Nations episode remains one of my favorite), Parenthood

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Catching Fire (the second book of the Hunger Games trilogy)

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Isn’t this the same question as #15? See above.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
If 2010 was the year of James Franco, then 2011 was the year of Ryan Gosling. Drive, Crazy, Stupid, Love, Super 8, Horrible Bosses

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
See #7.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less stressing about money. This is going to change in 2012. It has to.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Nothing changed from 2010 to 2011. I still wore the same tired jeans, dingy white Cons, pullover sweaters. I need to do a major dresser and closet overhaul this month to purge the crap and assess what I really need in terms of wardrobe basics. I still rely too heavily on cheap, practically disposable clothing from Target and Old Navy.

26. What kept you sane?
Zumba. Daily gchats with Kerri (this was on my 2010 list, too!). Actual, meaningful conversations with Rowan. Roth’s jokes

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Time spent reading dozens of books in bed with Rowan is better than time spent doing anything else.

***

Happy New Year, everyone! Bring on the 2012!

For weeks leading up to Saturday, your third birthday, you’d been telling everyone who asked that you were “still 2.” “Two-and-a-HALF,” you’d exasperatedly exclaim, as if to really say, “Come on, guys. Get it right.” But this weekend, you finally turned 3. And to borrow a phrase from you, “that’s the truth.”

The truth is also this: you are such a big boy now that it makes my heart ache a little bit that you want to do everything by yourself. Your latest and greatest accomplishment is that you are potty trained, which makes your dad and I so very proud, especially since there was a week or two there when I was convinced you never would be. (I was also convinced we’d never break you of your pacifier habit, but in retrospect, getting you off of it was pretty easy, too.) Now, every week day when I pick you up from daycare, you jubilantly announce that you had “no accidents today!” And that’s another truth: you have not had one single potty accident since Thanksgiving. Great job, dude.

I took this past Friday off from work but still took you to daycare so that I could spend the entire day running errands and preparing our house for your birthday party on Sunday. Even before that, I went to several stores earlier in the week in search of party favors and sundry supplies, and scoured the internet for recipes and free downloadable printables to you make you a special birthday banner. All told, I spent many hours cleaning and organizing and crafting in order to host for you a little party in your honor that lasted about two hours.

Basically, what I’m saying is, it was a lot of work, which your dad recognized after all of our friends left, but you know what? It was worth it. Even though you probably won’t remember the pennant banner that spelled out your name, or the cookies ‘n cream cupcakes with the digger on top of the “dirt” Oreo crumbles, or the rainbow fruit skewers, I will. But what I will remember the most is how damn happy you were that people came to OUR house, just for YOU.

I will also remember you standing in the front doorway as your first guests arrived, anxiously waiting for them to make the trek from their car to our porch, and how you kept waving and saying hello, even though I’m pretty sure you didn’t know those particular people very well. I will remember how you insisted on using the potty all by yourself, and then coming out of the bathroom without your pants off because you needed me to help you with the button. (I guess it’s not a party until someone’s pants come off, right?) I will remember you sharing all of your toys with Madeleine, Lucy and Charlie, and sitting with them at your little table while everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to you.

At 3, you are intelligent and thoughtful, independent and imaginative. You recently invented a game simply called “Hugdown,” which is where you run into your dad’s open arms for a hug, and your sheer strength knocks him off his feet so you’re both on the ground. You guys do this over and over with much laughter, and I know for a fact that your dad loves this game because you give the best hugs.

You’re also one of the funniest people I know, whose dance moves rival those of Jagger.

When you’re concentrating on a task, you stick your tongue in and out of our mouth, sort of like a panting puppy, and you make these guttural sounds when you’re sucking down a juice box, as if you’ve been hiking through a desert for days without water. You love to take baths, but you abhor having your hair washed, a battle I’ve decided not to partake in unless absolutely necessary.

Nightly you try to trick me into reading all of your books before bed, even when I’ve given you a three-book limit. You say, “This one, this one, this one, and all of these ones, and that’s gonna bes it!” I usually give in and read a few more because truth is, I’ve really come to enjoy this bedtime routine of ours, especially when you recite the words to your favorite books, too.

You have a lot of fans, my son. Family is a given, of course, but everyone who spends any time with you tells me how awesome and smart you are. Sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize that because you’re my one and only, and what do I know? But it fills me with such ooey-gooey warmth to hear again and again how amazing you are.

Because that’s also the truth.

xo Mama

1. Roth’s car started making a “high-pitched whirring” accompanied by a “chemical smell” yesterday which has resulted in repairs (new alternator! and other mechanical jargon I don’t understand!) to the tune of extra money we just don’t have right now. Subsequently, I’ve had to cancel some fun plans this week because I can’t justify spending more money we don’t really have.

(I am not, however, canceling Rowan’s birthday party on Sunday. We’re keeping it pretty low budget anyway with homemade cupcakes and printed-from-the-internet decorations.)

2. My car needs new tires like whoa. We can’t really wait until after the holidays, either, because of the aforementioned trip to California. I wonder if Les Schwab has a blood donation payment program.

3. Apropos of numbers 1 and 2, my left eye started twitching yesterday.

4. I am currently sporting a very large, very painful bulls-eye zit on my face. It’s at that stage where it just needs to freaking POP already so it can start the month-long scabby healing process. What’s unfair about this particular zit is that it cropped up atop the scar of another zit that plagued my face the entire month of October. I’m wearing my glasses today in attempt to hide it, but I think this tactic is actually calling more attention to it than not. (You can actually see the beginnings of its ass-face in the pictures of my last post.)

5. I’ve been going to Zumba a couple times a week, and I’m finding myself getting particularly annoyed with this contingency of middle-aged women who fawn over a particular male (and married, by the way) instructor. I mean, yes, he has a nice butt and can shake it-shake it, but back the eff off, ladies. Let us (slightly) younger ladies have a chance at getting called up on stage to dance a routine with him, too. Not that I’m jealous or anything. Ahem.

6. Itchy dry skin. That is all.

7. I finally (FINALLY) finished Mockingjay, the final book of The Hunger Games trilogy, last week, and while I know most people were enraged with the ending, I was pretty OK with it. What I hated, though, was how the last 100 or so pages seemed to multiply. It took me so long to get through that book, probably because I was just BORED. It was like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is forced to watch The English Patient and she’s all, “JUST DIE ALREADY. DIEEEEE!” (Don’t worry. That wasn’t a spoiler.) (Or was it??)

***

Aaaand, breathe. I feel better already. Next up: FEATS OF STRENGTH!

Thanks to L’Oreal for sponsoring my post about my favorite beauty looks, tips and tricks! Check out Makeup.com for beauty advice from the experts.

***

I haven’t worn makeup — like REALLY worn makeup — since my wedding, six and a half years ago. For that occasion, I enlisted the help of a professional, who transformed me into someone one hundred times more glamorous than my usual self, that when coupled with a fancy blonde up-’do, it caused my mother-in-law to audibly gasp from the audience when she first saw me come down the aisle.

I guess I’d already started turning into the “plain Jane” I am today back in my mid-twenties. It wasn’t always that way, though. My former college roommate said I used to take two hours to get ready every day. I have no idea what took two hours because I had super short hair then, so it must’ve been my makeup routine. (And my tweezing regimen, I’m sure, as evidenced by the misshapen, too-thin brows I was rocking at age 20. Yikes.)

I definitely went through a period of time in high school when I wore a lot of makeup, specifically terribly unflattering burgundy liner and lipstick. All my friends wore the same stuff — wet N wild lip liner in “Brandy Wine” #666, topped with shiny gloss. The liner was a steal at just 99 cents! I stopped wearing a lot of makeup toward the end of high school as I went through my thrift store clothing phase, the goal being, apparently, to look as frumpy as possible in men’s plaid golf pants and ‘70s ski sweaters. Yeah, I don’t know, either.

Basically, there have been times in my life when I cared about my appearance, and times when I didn’t. I wouldn’t say that I don’t care how I look now, but as a full-time working mom, I simply don’t have the time to keep up with fashion or makeup trends. My getting-ready routine in the morning is pretty simple. I do apply makeup every day — a little foundation and loose powder, always mascara, a bit of blush, and lip balm — but I never touch it up at work, and by the time I get home, it’s all but worn off so that on the rare occasions Roth sees me getting ready in the morning, he bemoans the fact he never gets to see me “all dolled up.”

Ha. I’m hardly ever “dolled up.” Here I am in the morning — before makeup on the left, after makeup on the right.

See? You can hardly tell I’m even wearing makeup, but I swear I am! This is how I look, pretty much all the time.

Plain. Jane.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

But, I had to laugh when I was selected to write a sponsored post about makeup. I’m probably the last person who should be writing about or giving any sort of advice about makeup. I was intrigued, though, by the challenge it posed. “Dare To Try” a new look for the holiday season, it suggested. Hmm. I *have* been wanting to try a bold red lip, or a smoky smoldering eye. Yes, yes. I shall try both, I giddily exclaimed to myself.

Last week when I was in New York for work, I stopped in at a Sephora, thinking I’d pick up some red lipstick, no big deal. Except I nearly had a panic attack as I perused the store, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might be able to help me. I just … wow. I don’t know how people shop there. There are far too many options, everything was so shiny, and I left without buying anything. Instead I opted to buy a red lipstick at a drugstore where the “scene” was far more sedated than my prior experience. I chose Maybelline’s ColorSensational in “Are You Ready.” I also picked up a lip liner in nude. The result is on the left, below.

Not too bad, though definitely not appropriate for my office setting, which is ultra casual. I could see wearing this sort of color to a holiday party. (Too bad my company’s party has already passed!) For kicks, I also grabbed my fave lip liner of yore, wet N wild #666, which is still just 99 cents! Inflation, be damned! I paired it with a cheap-o burgundy lipstick. The result is on the right, above.

Also not awful, though definitely way too dark for my coloring, I think. After experimenting with red and burgundy, I scrubbed my lips clean and used a tried-and-true tinted gloss, CoverGirl Lipslicks in “Demure.” Ah, that’s better, yes?

So, even when I used to wear a lot more makeup, I never-ever wore dark eyeliner with any sort of precision. I watched in awe as friends expertly swept the paintbrush of a liquid liner across the tops of their lids, achieving that sexy cat-eye look. It wasn’t until very recently that I figured out why most eye techniques don’t really work on me. I inherited from my mother a droopy upper eyelid that hangs over my lower lid. (For medical reasons, she has had her eyes … fixed.) When I do wear eyeshadow, I get that oily crease within minutes. Liner just sort of smears.

Still, I wanted to again try a smoky eye. I used a smudger and granite shadow along my lash line and in the outer corners. Then, I brushed a lighter shimmery grey shadow over the rest of my lids. Topped with mascara, of course. The result is below.

See? With my eyes open, on the right, you can barely tell I’m wearing darker eye makeup, thanks to that low-hanging upper lid. My lower lids sort of disappear, which is frustrating. Upon closer inspection, however, you can see my … handiwork. (Just don’t look too close.)

Of the two new looks — a bold red lip and a smoky smoldering eye — which one should I attempt on a regular basis? Both? Neither? Have I inspired you to try a new look, too?

***

I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. Click here to learn more about Makeup.com or become a Facebook fan by clicking here.

And we’re no different. The first year we did a holiday card with Rowan in our lives, we used a posed family photo. It was nice, but I don’t know … it didn’t feel that unique or special. Last year we did a small photo shoot (with Sizzle’s sister!) a few weeks before Christmas with the intention of snapping another family shot, but I hated how I looked in every single image. There was one photo of Rowan, however, that was so great, that I designed our entire holiday card around it.

I’ve never gotten so many compliments on a holiday card as I did last year. Even as recently as last month, someone saw a copy of the card at our house and again mentioned how great it was. I think the trick to creating a truly unique holiday card is to choose a candid photo. Sure, posed photos are nice, too, but when I get a holiday card from family and friends, I want to see a little bit of personality. I want a sneak-peek into what life is really like. One of my favorite cards from the last couple of years was of my dear friend Shauna’s son Henry … in tears as he sat on Santa’s lap! That’s real!

Last year, I purchased a unique holiday card design from a seller on Etsy, had to wait a few days to get a proof, and then another day to get a final file to send off to be printed. Then, I had to pick the cards up (from Costco), buy envelopes, address, stamp, etc. I’m not sure why I went this route – probably because I thought I could save a few pennies; I don’t think I saved any money, and I definitely didn’t save any time – but I am not doing that again. Too complicated, even for a card that got a lot of compliments.

This year, I’m already so behind the curve in getting a great candid shot of Rowan so that I can order our holiday cards in time to send them out before Christmas. Thankfully, I was asked by Shutterfly to review their line of holiday cards in exchange for FREE cards and FREE shipping, which has me feeling a little less panicky about not having my act together yet.

I have to say, I am quite impressed with Shutterfly’s selection of holiday cards. I’d perused their cards in the past, but I don’t remember them being so cute, frankly. I’m truly impressed with the selection, and I know I’m going to have a hard time deciding which design to go with this year. Here are some of my favorites:

Which design do you think I’ll ultimately choose? You’ll just have to watch your mailbox to find out!

***
Do YOU want FREE cards, too? Shutterfly has also given me three promo codes (good for 25 free cards) to give to my readers. Hurrah! I know a lot of bloggers are participating in similar holiday card promotions, so I’m not going to make this tough. The first three commenters (family, friends, anyone!) to tell me they want free cards gets the promo code (which expires 12/31, so hurry!). Just be sure to leave your e-mail address in the comment so I can get in touch with you.

UPDATE: All three promo codes have been spoken for. Man, you guys are FAST! Who doesn’t love something free during the holidays? Not this gal!

Disclosure: Shutterfly gave me free cards and shipping for this post, however my thoughts and opinions are my own, and I have not been paid to publish positive comments.

This is the first year that Rowan seems acutely aware of the impending holiday season. He talks non-stop about Santa, how he wants a “car with a control,” and that we need to put lights on the house. We weren’t planning to get a tree this year, since we’ll be spending Christmas down in California with Roth’s family, but the day after Thanksgiving we unearthed from the garage our hand-me-down teeny faux tree and let Rowan decorate it with a string of lights and some extra-special Cars-themed ornaments. He was thrilled, and then kept sitting next to “his” tree, in awe of the lights.

Admittedly, I’d grown pretty “bah humbug” about Christmas in the last few years, but seeing Rowan’s enthusiasm for “the most wonderful time of the year” has me feeling pretty giddy about it, too! We’re going to drive the 13 hours to Sonora (possibly, all the way through in one day), and then spend a few days there, before visiting my dad, too.

(Speaking of my dad, since a few online friends have inquired, he’s still undergoing bi-weekly chemo treatments for colon cancer. Following a treatment, he typically has a bad week followed by a good week, in terms of how he feels. His moral seems pretty high, though, and he’s doing quite a bit more writing during this off time, which I think is good for him. I’m very optimistic he’ll come out of this whole experience just fine.)

Before this trip, though, is Rowan’s birthday. He’s going to be three, guys. THREE. I can hardly believe it. Just a couple of weeks ago I wrote how we were starting to focus on potty training, that his wearing diapers was his last connection to being a baby, and now, he’s almost there! We took advantage of the four-day holiday spent at home to really put some effort into getting him trained. It took about a day (and an accident that seemed to disappoint him more than anyone else) before he got into a groove, thanks to a simple sticker chart and a bag of cheap trinkets (Silly Putty, Matchbox cars, Woody Pez dispenser) as his main motivation.

I know it’s going to be years still before he’s 100% trained, but we’re on track, which is really exciting. It’s funny just how damn proud we are of him for his “accomplishments.” Like, I wonder if we’re somehow setting him up for a lifetime of disappointment once he realizes there won’t always be applause, prizes and a ticker-tape parade every time he takes a crap in the toilet.

(God, can you imagine if that happened every time we used the bathroom? HAA!)

On the subject of kid birthday parties, I’d early come to the decision that we would not do a party for Rowan this year. After looking into the cost just to rent space somewhere, I said no way. He’s still young, and he probably won’t remember this particular birthday, but then we went to some parties for his little friends, and on the way home from one, he asked me from the back seat, “When is MY birthday party, Mama?” Oh, my heart. So, it was that exact moment I decided to reconsider the idea of a SMALL party, perhaps just a cupcake reception at our place.

What we’re definitely doing on the evening of his birthday, since it’s a Saturday, is to meet up with our friends Jasmine and Ian for dinner at Buca di Beppo, which has become somewhat of an annual (sometimes bi-annual) tradition during the holidays. The last time we did this dinner, it was to celebrate Rowan’s FIRST birthday, which was so much fun. I’ll never, ever forget these pictures of him.

So great, right?

I should know better not to tempt fate by putting out into the uni(Twitter-)verse my deepest and darkest fears.

And yet.

You can probably guess what happened next.

KERPLUNK.

Commence panic and freakout, followed by shame and embarrassment, and ultimately, anger at my own damn self for being so carefree with my iPhone. It happened so fast, as I was, ahem, pulling up my pants. It just … slipped right out of my back pocket, and right into the, um, unflushed bowl. Nothing but net.

(THANKFULLY, as I’m sure you’re all curious to know, it was just #1.)

Despite my fishing it out of the toilet within seconds of its high-dive, it was pretty screwed up. I could sort of see the screen, but it wasn’t registering my touch, and therefore I couldn’t properly turn it off, and it started doing very weird things on its own, like calling random people from my list of contacts. Oh hi, former co-worker I haven’t talked to in many months.

It happened in a public bathroom, before we were to go to some friends’ house for dinner, but I didn’t have the address outside of my e-mail, and Roth doesn’t have a smart phone, either. Immediately, I felt lost. In just a few short months, I’ve become so dependent on my iPhone. I don’t know phone numbers or addresses or directions. Randomly, my laptop was in the car, so we found a nearby Starbucks so we I could regroup, access my e-mail and the address, and confirm via Google that we needed to put my waterlogged phone in a bag of rice to try to absorb the liquid.

I’m happy to report that the rice trick worked. It was still glitchy the next morning, but a few more hours of absorption, and I was back in business. PHEW. Thank you, Safeway bag ‘o long grain rice!

So, what did I learn from this experience? Obviously, not to keep my phone in my back pocket, but also, that it’s OK to unplug and detach myself from it every now and again. I didn’t have it with me most of yesterday when we were out running errands, and it felt oddly … liberating. I’ve definitely turned into one of those people whose phone is always at arm’s reach, and I’m not so sure I like that.

(Also, I’m not so sure I like how upset I was over the thought of having to start over on Bejeweled! I’m on level 35, people! Do you know how many hours I’ve logged on that stupid game while sitting in the dark of my son’s bedroom, waiting for him to fall asleep?)

*This incident was particularly amusing to Rowan, who is still working on potty training. Basically, there was a lot of potty talk going on at our house this weekend.

Gabby and I are still friends, some five-plus years after first meeting at still-my-current place of employment (she moved on to greener pastures, quite literally, and still works as a CSA manager for a local farm), and even though we don’t get to hang out very often, I still consider her a great friend and one of the funniest people I know, especially for the gem I’m about to post, below.

I received this e-mail in my inbox last night, and I’ve since read it about 10 times. Every time I read it, I can’t stop giggling. She gave me the thumbs up to post it on my blog, and even encouraged me to leave in the personal details, such as time and place, in case any of my blogger friends want to come, too. “I don’t mind,” she said, with a smiley emoticon. Of course she doesn’t, because SHE IS AWESOME.

***
Subject: My mom is throwing me a birthday party, and you’re invited.

Dear friends:

My mom called me last month and told me she wanted to throw me a party for my 30th birthday and invite all my family and all my friends. As much as this initially seemed like a really horrible idea, I shortly realized it was also really appropriate. What would it be like to be turning 30, and have your mother there, just as drunk as you, and your second cousin is there too, and your actual friends, and your friends’ friends, all together in the same room? Kind of wrong, maybe, but also kind of right. So I told her yes. And my 30th birthday party was born.

Maybe you just read that introduction and now you’re a little afraid to come to my party. It’s okay, I’m afraid too. But here’s why you should come anyways:

1. You are invited. I want you to be there. I either love you or really like you, or I at least think you’re kind of fun.

2. This party is free. My mom has rented a space, and is buying all the food and all the booze, because she’s a parent, so it’s reasonable to ask her to buy everything.

3. You get to meet and/or hang out with my mother (warning: her name is also Gabrielle), which will be fun, right? And you also get to watch me drunkenly navigate interactions with my family while trying to also relax and enjoy myself. (Wow, this sounds a little bit stressful, doesn’t it? But I feel like it will somehow help prepare me for the ‘real world’.)

But, seriously, guys. It’s going to be a rager.

+++++
IMPORTANT OFFICIAL DETAILS!
What: Gabby turns 30
When: Friday, December 9 at 7:00 p.m.
Where: [address redacted], 7th Floor “Party Room”
+++++

This is a family member’s condo, so you just enter and tell the concierge you are with the Gabrielle Party. I’m not even joking about that part, it’s real. Or you can call me at [cell number redacted].

There is a hot tub and a swimming pool near the “party room.” Oh yeah.

There is also the actual condo/bedroom area where my little brothers and step dad will be hanging out probably watching Disney movies. You can take a nap there. I might take a nap there, too.

If you want to bring anything particular to drink or eat, that’s great, but not required.

Also: I need a DJ. Someone please email me back and volunteer for that job. If no one does I’m going to just put Morrissey on repeat all night and no one wants that, not even me.

Okay, also really important: THE ESCAPE PLAN. In the event that I cannot be around my mom anymore, which I won’t say is likely but also won’t say is unlikely, because I am not yet prepared for the “real world” where you’re not still a little nervous to smoke cigarettes around your mom (omg guys how am i going to smoke cigarettes?), the secret code phrase to pretend everyone is simultaneously tired and wants to go to bed but actually I just want to move this party to a real bar, because I have not yet graduated to direct, honest communication with my mother, is: “hella dope.” So if I work “hella dope” into a sentence, you’ll probably be kind of surprised, and then you’ll be like “OH YEAH,” and then you’ll get a text from me soon with the new deets.

Also, everyone is invited to this party; so even though I don’t have everyone’s email address, you should make sure and invite whoever I am not emailing or who I just completely forgot. I trust your judgment.

Wow, that was so much information, I’m glad you decided to read it all.

I will see you on December 9. If you own a big hat please wear it to this party.

Hella dope,
Gabby

***
Don’t you wish you had a Gabby in your life, too?